ive been up since 4am this morning

and still dont feel tired

ive been thinking soo much it was hard for me to sleep and still is

these memories and thoughts just keep appearing over and over

ppl say move on

but really idk if i am ready for that

i mean i knw family and friends worry about a person and try to help them out but sometimes they just need to be left alone

its funny how u remember doing things for tht person tht you never in your life thought u would ever do

i mean like poetry i was talking to someone today about poetry and they said have you ever written one before i said yes only for that person now me writing poetry never thought i had it in me 

surprises i thght i was bad at surprises but wow i sure never thought i was good

now idk wats going on now

maybe its to help me prepare myself for better 

but i was happy and thought thats it i am happy the way things are

but u cant question the will of Allah

ppl say its sometimes not meant to be and u may not knw now why but Allah does and provides better

now these thoughts are just a little of wat i am thinking of

man i shuld just write a book

Ardent Love …
Is a madness,
An addiction,
That
Causes blindness and deafness
With
No rhyme, no reason
No time, no season
Totally Emotional
And
Not slightly Intellectual
Leave alone Practical
In fact, quite Nonsensical…
I love you…
But I don’t quite know why
It’s not your kindness nor your goodness
Nor your piousness
Do you lie?
Maybe not even your wealth or looks
Certainly not your dedication to the books
And
Maybe you even make me cry…
It’s just the way I feel…
You make my head reel
Problem: How long will it last
Before this feeling says Goodbye?
Then it’s just hurt and sadness
Or
A passionate hate to fill the emptiness…
It is like being on heat…
An animal?
Now I’m insulted and quite ashamed
Oh no, no control over my own self
For emotions untamed
Cummon, Get hold of yourself!
The Deen prescribes the middle path
Make that list of attributes you admire
Read that Istigaraah
And
Pray that your Nafs’s desire
With
Those seducing Whispers
Doesn’t land you in the hell-fire!

yes finally quit my job

and left resturant busness for good only cooking wen i want to not wen i need to lol

now i am training at a new company but i think the boss is on crack lol shes too happy its not normal XD

well i pray for the best :)

Being married forces you to fine tune those not-so-great-aspects of yourself and strive to be better. Love comes in here too; when you are in a loving relationship(and in love and loved); you have this amazing reservoir of energy within you that allows you to flourish and nurture. It brings out the best in you and makes you strive to be better because someone cares and loves you; and vice versa. It is kind of like how we instinctively react to another’s perception of us, when they think well of us and believe in us , we want to do even better; but when they disparage us we will get defensive. Is it any wonder that our beloved prophet (saw) said that marriage is half of faith?